Scared M&M guy

body talk

These symptoms are so cray-cray! In addition to the other stuff, my heart has been acting up too and that part has been scary for me.

That said, I’m ok being on this magical, mysterious adventure of growth and transformation and sharing … and, as always, I am learning a LOT.

In a cab on the way to the doctor, my body ‘n me had a little chat …

It was feeling terrible so I asked it, “What are you trying to tell me here? What do you need?”

What a fascinating conversation ensued!

I asked what the pain looked like. It was a tangled bunch of thick metal rope, like cables in my belly.

I asked “Would you like to untangle? You don’t have to but if you’d like to you can.”

I envisioned pouring soothing liquid all over the tangled cables.

I then saw the pain in my head and gave it a fluffy bunny rabbit. (My favorite soothing thing. Bunnies are sooooo healing … to me, at least! What feels healing to YOU?)

scared-m&mBack to my belly. In there I saw this lil’ guy, like a cute M&M character … y’know, with the arms and the legs? He was hangin’ on, scared ‘n being tossed around a bit in the cab.

He was sayin’ that the doctor won’t be able to help him and he was afraid.

I gave him the fluffy bunny to hold onto and he sat with his feet straight out, arms wrapped around the bunny and that felt comforting.

This whole thing I just described felt so very soothing.

Note to self
(and to you, my beloved friend!) …

Envisioning the pain … Not calling it bad but just noticing … Where it is, what color, size and shape it is … What it feels like, what it looks like … What it’s saying and what is needed in order to sooth or heal it … This is very useful.

PS: Wanna hear somethin’ funny?

The neurologist asked me to remember these three things and in a few minutes he’d ask me again, right?

So he says “One, Ohio … two, (something else which I can’t remember) … and three, a red balloon.”

Then he asks me all of these math questions and has me put my arms up and down and all this and then asks me to tell him the three things.

I say, in all seriousness …

1. Ohio
2. I can’t remember
3. somethin’ about fluffy bunnies?

I laugh when I think of it because I’m tellin’ you guys, I was so sure that he said somethin’ about fluffy bunnies! When he told me it was a red balloon, it rang a bell but prior to his reminding me, I had no clue.

Fluffy bunnies! lol He musta thought either I was joking or I’d lost my damned mind!

Love and hugs,
Col

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Alicia December 25, 2017 at 7:05 am

I love this! You’re right–it’s very similar to what I do! I love how you pointed out to not call it “bad.” It’s such an important part of the process, and leaves room for the pain to express itself. <3 <3 you, my friend! xoxo

Reply

Col December 31, 2017 at 6:39 pm

Yes, beautifully said … leaving room for the pain to express itself. I used to think it was about making things I didn’t like go away but then I realized life is not about stopping this human experience, right? We experience it *all*.

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